Turning lemons into lemonade

We did the yearly Secret Santa gift exchange, which goes off pretty much the same way every year: I organize it, everybody waits until three minutes before gift time to run out and get a Starbucks gift card, one dude forgets, and we all wander away shaking our heads. Then I vow to myself to never organize this crap again.

I got a large bag of holiday M&Ms, a jar of black-currant jelly and a wooden Christmas-tree ornament from my boss. The ornament makes sense. My entire paycheck goes toward keeping IT quiet about my Smurf-porn addiction, so I can't buy ornaments of my own. The M&Ms and jelly are clear signs that my boss wants me to be a thousand pounds and gasping for air every time I get up to pee. But it could have been worse: They could have been those personalized M&Ms that say things like "I banged your mom" and "Clean out your desk by this afternoon." As for the jelly: My aunt's 89th birthday is tomorrow, and I didn't have a gift yet, so it's all cool.

On a completely unrelated note: I promised myself a long, long time ago that I would never go to meetings that were summaries of other meetings. I had to keep that promise today.