Fuck pirates

Yeah, I said it: Fuck pirates. Pirates used to be cool, and now those Somali bastards had to go and harsh on my wow. I want peg legs and eye patches and foul-mouthed parrots, not this death and destruction and real-life shit. Johnny Depp would never pull this crap. He'd swing from a vine looking all hot and stuff. That's what pirate-osity should be about. Pirates have no personal pride these days.

And we totally need to stop calling people who steal shit off the Internet "pirates." I know they wanna be cool, but no one is taking hostages over Justin Timberlake singles. And if you are, you're lame. Knock it off with the hostage-taking, you git.