Do you have a friend in Jesus?

With the help of some wine and a bit of a mean streak, Devon and I have decided to quit our jobs to sell Rapture insurance.

Yes, if you are certain you are going to be taken by our good Lord Jesus Christ at the end times, you can shield the selfish, lazy heathens in your family from poverty and starvation with our help. Your life insurance won't do Jack, since you won't be dead. You'll need another way to keep your teenage daughter from whoring herself in front of Home Depot and your husband from performing late-term abortions for spare change.

Don't let your family suffer in sin when you are given your eternal reward. Enroll in Rapture insurance NOW!