It's been said before that Romeo and Juliet would have resolved much more happily had T-Mobile been around in Shakespeare's time. Juliet could have sent her beloved a text: "Hey, Romeo, luv u 4evah, don't kill urself." And Romeo could have replied: "U wanna hook up? C U in the crypt."
It would have been awesome, and the Montagues and Capulets could have had a good, long laugh about their little rapscallions' behavior.
Which led me to think how even more awesome it would be if they had IM.
CapChick: O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo. Deny thy father, 'cause his shit is whack.
LoverBoy: No worries. He's watchin' porn on his laptop. LOL.
CapChick: Can u come over 2nite? I Netflixed "Othello."
LoverBoy: Talk about whack. Those dudes make me wanna kill myself. Depressing shit. BRB.
LoverBoy: OK, back.
CapChick: Where'd u go?
LoverBoy: Had to pee. Sorry.
CapChick: So, r u coming over? I miss u.
LoverBoy: Waitin' 4 Dad 2 pass out in his beer. OK, BITCH.
CapChick: Did u just call me a bitch?
LoverBoy: No, BITCH. Means Basically in the Clear, Homey.
CapChick: Does not. U just made that up.
LoverBoy: No, really, I got it off of netlingo.com.
CapChick: U r sooooooooo lame. But I love u anyway, pookie.
LoverBoy: U know I would die 4 u. B there soon.
Actually, now that I think about it, we're all better off that they killed themselves.