I qualify “nerds” because there was a terrific post about scoring with female nerds at The Park Bench, which inspired this one. After speaking* with Devon, I put together this primer on dating male nerds.
Be interested in his obsession
And he WILL be obsessed with something, whether it’s Battlestar Galactica, forensic science or making chess pieces out of recycled yak dung. Being genuinely interested makes life easier for everyone, but “fake it ’til you make it” also applies.
Be aggressive
Boy nerds have taken a lot of rejection since high school. A LOT. He may not recognize you shoving his head into your breasts as flirting, in which case you’ll need to come on stronger. Nerds are very smart and very, very dumb.
Have breasts
Nerds are still men, and men like boobs. Anything that emphasizes your breasts (say, shoving his head into them) will let him know you are a woman and that he should consider the possibility of having sex with you at some point in the future.
Build a World of Warcraft toon now
The good news is that you won’t be trapped watching football on lazy afternoons. The bad news is that you’d better be ready to part with $15 a month for a World of Warcraft account. A toon is a WoW character you control, and you will need one if you want to spend this time together. Start building now, because your level-15 noob just won’t cut it when he’s doing level-80 raids. It’s OK. While this seems lame now, you will TOTALLY FUCKING LOVE IT BECAUSE IT’S AWESOME.
Feed him
The average nerd isn’t so dense that he will die of starvation, but he may consider Whoppers and beer a balanced meal. If you encourage him to eat real food and take care of himself, you might prove invaluable in keeping him alive.
Be prepared to make bizarre abstract arguments
Like, who would win in a fight, Caprica Six or Megatron? Q or Elminster? This is nerd philosophy. Embrace it and your nerd will embrace you.
Wooing a nerd helps if you are also a nerd. Odds are, though, that your nerdiness will have a different flavor than his, so it helps to brush up on the basics. Your learning curve will be steeper if you are not a nerd, but it can work if you are committed and persistent. Go get ’em, tiger.
* Nerds don’t speak. We IM. Even ones who live together.
Dude. Q would pwn Elminster. Q has powers that change the fabric of the universe. What can Elminster do? Cast wish?
Elminster could wish he had the powers of Q. So there!
ahhh. nice… I always wondered. Luckily I’m pretty much already a nerd… just not the type boy nerds usually like. but i sure do like them…
Love your site by the way!!
carissajaded: Thanks! Stick around.
If boy nerds fail to succumb to your charms, hit them over the head with your laptop and drag them back to your cave. Or try girl nerds. Sometimes it’s just easier that way.
Crap, my daughter is dating a nerd! You’re right this one is a KISS fan. He comes by the house wearing his KISS reunion tour t-shirts all the time. If I catch him searching for cleavage in the Valley of the Plunging Neckline I’ll squish him. His Guitar Hero playing days will be over.
Thanks for the heads up.
A.J., I hate to say this, since I’m speaking to a father and all, but if your daughter is already dating the nerd, he may have discovered the Valley of the Plunging Neckline by now. Nerds often need to be hit over the head with a clue-by-4.
My nerd, whom I call a geek, is way into geekdom. When we first met we talked about a Stephen King book. Later on he told me he was totally flirting with me…. ah no, no you weren’t. Good thing I was the one who initiated the relationship and I’ve done my part ever since to speak geek and keep him fed. I flat out refuse to play WoW though.