Pop Quiz, Hotshot

Guess which one of the following items DID NOT make it through airport security.

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If you guessed the box cutter, you should not be working for the TS-Fucking-A.

When we moved into our new apartment, Devon picked up a bunch of box cutters, and I slipped one of them into my purse in case I needed to cut someone someday. I forgot about it completely. This razor blade made it all the way through airport security, while my Japanese Cherry Blossom body lotion did not.

Something ain't right here.

To be fair, I never get shit stolen confiscated leaving New York -- only when trying to navigate Denver International Asshats -- so there's a good chance I would have gotten an anal probe from the TSA Saturday upon my return home.

But do you know what happened as a result of me bringing this deadly weapon onto the airplane? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Because I'm an ordinary person trying to get from point A to point B, just like I was the day the TSA protected the world from my overpriced girly products. Just like the vast majority of travelers.

Thank God they remembered to make me take my shoes off. Who knows what could have happened.