Not married for three weeks yet, and already I’m getting copies of Parenting magazine delivered to my apartment. Pushy fuckers.
I must have bought something for a pregnant friend and ended up on a mailing list, since I’m 32 years old, and all my friends are pregnant, recently pregnant or about to be pregnant.
Look, Parenting magazine, in high school, I was voted “Most Likely to Forget My Baby in a Hot Car During Summer.” I don’t need you getting all up in my uterus/grill.
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Too funny! Aren’t you supposed to start making babies as soon as you get married?
According to Parenting, yes. It’s like one of those claw machines. Sometimes you get a baby, sometimes you get a desire to make some soap.