Settle down, Parenting

Not married for three weeks yet, and already I’m getting copies of Parenting magazine delivered to my apartment. Pushy fuckers.

I must have bought something for a pregnant friend and ended up on a mailing list, since I’m 32 years old, and all my friends are pregnant, recently pregnant or about to be pregnant.

Look, Parenting magazine, in high school, I was voted “Most Likely to Forget My Baby in a Hot Car During Summer.” I don’t need you getting all up in my uterus/grill.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, May 6th, 2010 at 11:15 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

3 Comments

  1. Tweets that mention Dirty Hooker -- Topsy.com says:
    May 6, 2010 at 11:22 pm

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Monica Patitucci. Monica Patitucci said: Dirty Hooker: http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/05/06/591 [...]

  2. ellen says:
    May 10, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    Too funny! Aren’t you supposed to start making babies as soon as you get married?

  3. Monica says:
    May 10, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    According to Parenting, yes. It’s like one of those claw machines. Sometimes you get a baby, sometimes you get a desire to make some soap.