What are husbands for?

So dad had another setback. He's in the hospital now because of blood in his urine and painful urination, likely related to the cancer, and he may need the catheter permanently. This and other bummers prompted this IM conversation between me and Devon. me:  Will you do me a favor? Devon:  what? me:  When I get home tonight, smother me with a pillow until I stop twitching. Devon:  sorry, nope me:  Oh, come on, it's just this one little thing. Devon:  how about smother in kisses? me:  Are your lips coated in deadly toxin? Devon:  nope me:  Then that won't work. Unless you plan to throw yourself over my face for a few very long minutes. me:  What's a girl gotta do to get her husband to kill her around here? Devon:  see, american husbands just don't stack up to wahabbists in saudi