I’m one baad mofo

I need your help, y'all. Devon and I plan to buy a house someday, and when that happens, we want chickens. Chickens make eggs, and we like eggs. We also like chicken, and chickens make chicken, too.

We also need a milk source if we want to make yogurt and cheese from scratch. I suggested a cow, and Devon was extremely anti-cow, which I can understand: We don't want those South Park kids cow-tipping in our backyard.

I'm a reasonable woman. That's why I suggested a goat. But he's  anti-goat, too. He just said no to ruminants. I don't know why the dude has to be all bigoted against ruminants, but I guess that means we can't get a llama, either.

So I want you all to convince Devon to get a goat. I'm patient. I can wait. We'd need at least three bedrooms to house a goat, anyway.