Looking for two good nuts

This is the sort of IM convo that happens when I'm being emo. me:  Kick me in the nuts. Devon:  ...  you don't have nutz at least not last time I looked if you have grown them since well then that will be an interesting conversation ;) me:  What do you mean I don't...OH MY FUCKING GOD, MY NUTS ARE GONE!! Devon: heh

This was inspired by the fact that I seem to have some weird pre-middle-age ennui.

I want to do stuff, just not enough to actually do stuff. Like, I want a better career, but I don't know what that is. I want to live in a house, but living in an apartment is fine, too. Living in Colorado would be sweet, but packing is hard. Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi seem equally (un)appealing, so I'll take whatever's within arm's reach. That sort of thing.

Which is why I asked Devon to kick me in the nuts. But now it seems even my nuts are gone. Oh, woe.