So, wassup with Worgen Death Knights?

If you don’t play World of Warcraft, this post will make less sense than usual. Here, go watch this video about rainbows.


For those of you who remain, I have a question: WTF is up with Worgen Death Knights? Seriously, Blizzard, I hate you. I have this nightmare of Worgen and Undead Death Knights sitting in a bar, crying emo tears over who has had a more traumatic unlife. The Worgen orders a Sex on the Beach and the Undead orders a Cosmo, because that’s how they roll.

Worgen: I was defending my homeland against vile creatures like you…I mean me…whatever, when something bit me. A few days later I’m a rabid poodle, cast off from my kind. Then I met a Timelord and was transported back in time, where I shacked up with the Lich King. Don’t ask. This shit makes no sense.

Undead: I was plowing the fields when all of a sudden I woke up dead…undead, a mindless zombie. It was all “braaaaains this” and “braaaaaains that” for a while before Sylvanus rocked my world. Then Arthas stuck his tongue down my throat and seduced me to the even darker side. Go ahead, drink my tears.

Then a Gnome Death Knight saddles up to the bar and orders a Guinness (because she’s stout, get it?). She’s all, “Quit yer bitchin’. Gnomes got tired of getting spanked and decided to take their shit back. Weenies.”

In my nightmare, she pounds the beer hard and waddles away to the sound of banjo music.