Birthdays have gone to the dogs

My Dog You see this dog?

This dog used to smell like sweaty hobo ass. As part of my 33rd birthday gift to myself, I took her to a doggie spa, where she got a thorough de-assification, teeth cleaning and nail trimming.

She's a much better dog now.

Devon got me, among other things, an orthopedic pillow. It's amazing and awesome and you can't have it no matter how much you threaten me.

My friend's 7-year-old daughter gave me a Barbie doll, which is kind of sad and amazing. Sad because I don't have any other Barbies, so she's a little lonely sitting in that box, and amazing because I got a fucking Barbie doll for my 33rd birthday.Eat it, all you losers who didn't get Barbie dolls for your 33rd birthdays.

Again, you can't have it no matter how much you threaten me.

In other news, I will be laid off as of June 1. I'm going to miss being gainfully employed, but this job kind of sucks anyway.