The pole: Not yours

You know what my pet peeve of the day is? People who claim the subway pole in the name of Spain.

If you've ever ridden the NYC subway, you know what I mean. There are poles near the doors to help people who are too far away from seats and doors to remain upright. Pole hoggers are people who damn near wrap their bodies around the pole, often sleeping against it, so no one else can use it.

The result is that the only hand-space available is really high up where only tall people can reach it (i.e., not me) or really down low where only Smurfs can reach it (i.e., also not me). So this morning, while little miss sleepy pants took her nap, Devon held the pole while I clung to the front of his jacket like a galley cook clinging to a life raft off the side of the Titanic.

My other option would have been to hold on to her saggy boobs like doorknobs.

Here are some visual aids.

Pole hogger