Research suggests that old people are happier than young people, for reasons nobody's entirely sure of. With this in mind, I'm going to start taking cues from my Dad's life. After all, the dude had arthritis, a colostomy bag, a permanent catheter, a pacemaker, two dead wives and a debilitating degenerative disease, and he was one of the happiest guys I know, which makes me feel like an asshole when I stress about probate. I think the degenerative disease is the answer. Life is awesome when you can't remember shit. Which is why I'm going to start banging my head against a toaster and hope for the best.
Who are you people?