Day 1 of the mooch life

OK, that's not entirely true. I've got my severance package until October. But not having a job to go to is weird. I imagine this is what retirement is like -- minus the Social Security checks. Among other things, I cleaned the bedroom windows, which had not been cleaned since they were installed, about two years ago. This is partly because I am a lazy slob, and partly because cleaning these windows requires a DC 30 Acrobatics check or instant death.

The windows don't open enough to reach through from the inside. This is because the people who designed our building are assholes and want me dead. Cleaning windows is the No. 1 cause of falling to your death, which is a stat I just pulled out of my ass, but it's totally true. Cleaning windows and gravity. Gravity is also an asshole and wants me dead.

Devon said: "Don't die cleaning the house. Another thing: Don't die cleaning the windows."

I'm pretty sure he just told me to stop cleaning. Who am I to argue?