Deep in the heart of gamer funk

Emi Shortfuse It was during Gen Con, as my friend Donna and I were struggling to escape the cloud of three-day-old gamer funk we found ourselves trapped in, that I realized I am not the PC of my own life.

Donna and I struggled to find an escape route via the service/maintenance area. We laughed about how our quest was to escape the smelly, unshowered gamers clogging up the dungeon with their pirate and Slutty!Anime costumes. It was hard. Our aggro was high, and we kept pulling adds. Being on a PvP server didn't help.

We ran into a security dude who told us that if we kept going the way we were going, we'd end up on the roof. He escorted us to an area where we could bypass the stench of fermented sweat and escape to the bar for beer and cheese.

That was when we realized this wasn't our quest. It was security dude's escort quest, and we were NPCs.

Goddamnit.

We didn't even give him a sweet magical necklace when we were done. We were like those asshole quest-givers who make you walk all the way across Azeroth for 10 silver.

I think I just choked to death on my own geekery.