Christina Aguilera needs to get off my damn lawn

I saw this link over at Oh, Noa and had to share. Christina Aguilera

WTF happened to Christina Aguilera? She looks like someone's divorced, middle-aged alcoholic mom stripping at amateur night to prove she's still got it.

I was floored when I found out she's 30 years old. I keep putting her in the Justin Bieber teeny bopper camp, and learning she's only three years younger than I am made me feel old.

Oh, who am I kidding? It made me feel pretty damn good about myself after seeing those pics.

Before anyone gets on my case, it's not just the weight gain. I've lost and gained the same 20 pounds twice in the last four years. But if you're going to dress like a dominatrix, you need to look like the kind of woman who would look sexy wielding a paddle, not Elvis circa 1977.

Elvis

She'd probably be pretty cute here if she brushed her hair, learned how to wear makeup appropriately and didn't dress like she was filming a 1980s skanky aerobics video with Jane Fonda.

God, I AM getting old.