I'm like Stephen Hawking -- if Hawking were retarded and had a vagina

I'm taking a remedial math class from Knewton, the company Devon works for, because I suxor at the maths and this seemed like a good way to brush up. I'm working on the graphing-numbers part of it now because I was an English major in college and haven't done graphing since I was a fetus. I have 10 little piggies, and I'm not afraid to use them. When shit gets real, I'll even take off my socks. Beyond that, I beseech the almighty Google for answers.

It's sad. When I have to multiply large numbers, I get distracted by shiny things and lose track of what I'm doing. I'm like Drew Barrymore in "50 First Dates," only she could focus on shit for an entire day.

Knewton tries to be tricky. One question asked: What is the opposite of the opposite of 7?

I totally know this. You're not gonna get me today, pigfucker! And by "pigfucker," I mean Devon.

Math brings out the animal in me.