Dear Old Ladies: My Husband is Not a Pervert

I lied. He's a total pervert. We went out for dinner with our friends Amy and Ellen over the weekend, and Devon accidentally strolled into the women's bathroom.

It ain't no thang. I remember the time I accidentally walked into the men's bathroom, and I had to camp out in the stall while a seemingly endless stream of men used the urinal. Somehow, the fact that there was a urinal didn't strike me as odd when I walked in.

But anyway, I promised the old ladies he wasn't a pervert, which is where I lied. But it all ended happily and no one went to jail.

Later, we went to the M&M's store in Times Square, where Devon spent $50 on M&Ms because he missed the sign that said the candy was $12.99 a pound, and he filled that bag like a starving Somalian at an all-you-can-eat buffet.


Then he felt bad, because no one wants to spend 50 bucks on M&M's, but it was too late to turn back, so I told him to just enjoy the chocolate and think fondly of that time he was a total sucker.