This is one of those stories that sounds like an Onion article but isn't. The Food and Drug Administration is telling Trent Arsenault of California to stop giving his sperm away like it's a keg party at Delta Tau Chi.
The best part about this whole story is HuffPo's headline: "Trent Arsenault, Sperm Donor, Gets Cease Order From FDA."
Like, it wasn't enough that this story is made of awesome. HuffPo needs to make sure we remember his name, too. It's like if I said, "David White, Public Masturbator, Does It All For The Kicks." I picked that name randomly. If your name is David White, my apologies. Unless you masturbate in public. Then I'm totally right about you. And you're gonna go blind.
Arsenault is giving the sperm to low-income and gay couples, who he says have a harder time getting donations from sperm banks. I gotta side with Trent on this one. He's not selling it, and if he were, shall we say, making home deliveries, this wouldn't be a problem at all.
By "making home deliveries," I mean "sticking his penis into her vagina." I worried that wasn't clear.
I have to agree with George Carlin: "Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn't selling fucking legal?" Taking it one step further, why isn't giving away the byproduct of fucking legal?
C'mon, FDA. Give Trent a chance.