Christmas made me a sad panda, but not for the reasons you think. I'm actually pretty OK with Mom and Dad being gone. Time is like that, and I have lots of awesome people in my life. What made me sad this year is that we were in Colorado, surrounded by people who love us and want us to be happy and aren't toxic and evil, and then I had to come back. The worst thing family did in Colorado was offer to get me and Devon a fertility specialist, because apparently it's weird that after a year and a half I am not about to spawn. The worst thing that happened with my family involved police and a CAT scan.
I love all my New York and online peeps, too. You guys make this shit bearable. But this place is ripe with all the stuff that comes along with it. Devon feels it, too. We just want to know when it will end.
I haven't written much about probate or the legal situation I find myself in. That's stuff best saved for later, when I'm not in said legal situation. But I asked Devon to end me again, and he still won't. I said that's what I really want for Christmas, and he said I'm getting a tablet, and I said he could get me a tablet AND stab me in the face, and he said I was greedy. I said I would give him a blow job if he ended me, but he pointed out that that suggested he would only ever get one more, and I said, "Well, yeah, from me," but that wasn't enough to convince him. I have a life-insurance policy, but he didn't even want that. I asked him if he was the kind of dude who didn't want blow jobs and money, and he said he wants those things, but he's not willing to end me for them.
He said I have to accept the fact that he's not going to kill me, but that's quitter talk. I accept nothing.
Later on last night, I asked Devon whether he would kill me if I were a character in Skyrim with really nice magical boots, and he admitted he would.
I have found his price.