Midtown just doesn't have assless chaps and rainbow ties

Devon and I noted this sad reality as we walked through the village, which, Devon said, has been able to maintain an air of seediness without being dangerous. The ratio of sex shops to Starbucks is also unusual, with Starbucks coming out on the rare losing end. After a birthday party at The Otheroom, we stopped for pizza, mostly because I had to pee, and you can't pee anywhere in Manhattan unless you buy something -- or drop trow on the sidewalk, but that solution is fraught with perils of its own, like peeing on your shoes. The pizza place is where I saw these signs.

Three signs telling customers to leave

The people at Karavas Pita 'n' Pizza really want you to eat your goddamn pizza and leave. You can tell because they say it with three signs bunched together. In case you look at the sign and are all, "What does loitering mean? What am I not supposed to do?" there's a helpful sign below it telling you exactly how much time you can spend eating your pizza (or pita).

But it doesn't say how long you can stay if you're NOT consuming food from Karavas Pita 'n' Pizza. If you're getting a massage, maybe you can stay an hour and it's not a problem. I'm not sure.

And then it has a helpful sign asking you to obey the other two signs, in case you weren't sure they were for serious.

See, this is a business that understands communication.

If you clicked on the link to the New York article, don't let the profile of this place fool you. It's not nearly as charming as it sounds. The pizza is mediocre, and the whole place is covered in a layer of skeeze, including the bathroom, which made me want to boil myself clean.