The Force watches you masturbate

My friend Donna and I were playing SWTOR and we decided to name The Force "Ceiling Cat." It started with a discussion of the powerful nature of The Force and how it intervenes in your life, at least according to the dippy master Jedi in the baby consular area. That led to the realization that The Force watches you masturbate. It's true and you can see where this is going.

Pretty soon, we declared that we could sense a disturbance in the Ceiling Cat. The Ceiling Cat is with you, always. May the Ceiling Cat guide you. You've fallen to the dark side of Ceiling Cat.

And all of this is retarded, but it was hilarious to us. Donna was drinking excessive amounts of hot-buttered rum at the time, which I may or may not have provided for her. I was drinking egg nog without the booze, so I have no excuse.

The egg nog was probably the last time I'll see egg nog until Christmas, which is why I had to beat that old lady down. I promise, the bruises will fade in a few days. I'm not a total monster.

Devon, upon creating his toon: "Twi'lek, really? A fucking cultural dance? That's your special power? Fuck you!"