This conversation happened as a result of me shattering a glass pot lid good and hard. By accident. Gravity's a bitch. How we got to me being a slut is irrelevant. Me: You think I'm some common slut, don't you. Devon: I prefer slattern. Me: Or trollop. Devon: Or saucebox. Me: Saucebox? Devon: Yeah. I was looking on a website for synonyms for "woman," and it came up with "slattern," "slut" and "saucebox." The words for "man" were, like, "lord" and "master." What the fuck? Me: Were you on misogyny.com? Devon: No, it was a regular thesaurus. Me: I'm still going to punch you in the feet. Devon: Who punches someone in the feet? That's weird. Me: Me. Devon: Why are you going to punch me in the feet? Me: For stepping across all that broken glass in your bare feet to vacuum it up after I told you not to. Devon: You were barefoot, too. And it got cleaned up faster with both of us working on it. Me: I was wearing socks. I was invulnerable. Devon: You're not trying very hard to punch me in the feet. Me: You're pinning me down. I'll do it later, when you're not expecting it. Devon: You're weird. Me: It's totally normal to punch people in the feet. Sleep lightly, my lord.
Also, there is no misogyny.com. I checked, with great trepidation.