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	<title>Dirty Hooker</title>
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	<description>For crafters, cooks, crocheters and all-around hookers</description>
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		<title>&#8216;Massage&#8217; this</title>
		<link>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/07/29/massage-this</link>
		<comments>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/07/29/massage-this#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:00:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Monica</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/?p=778</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I admit it:  I love Craigslist. I almost never buy anything from there, but I love the massage-therapy ads. And by &#8220;massage therapy,&#8221; I mean ads for whores.
I love them for being transparent and easy to mock in their poor writing. Ladies, maybe if you&#8217;d paid a little  more attention in school, you&#8217;d be NASA [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>No silver linings, please</title>
		<link>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/07/22/no-silver-linings-please</link>
		<comments>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/07/22/no-silver-linings-please#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Jul 2010 13:04:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Monica</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Random Impulses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Righteous Rage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/?p=741</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you&#8217;re one of my Facebook friends, you may have seen the Salon column I linked to titled &#8220;I trusted my gut and got screwed&#8221; by Cary Tennis. If you&#8217;re not one of my Facebook friends, you can clicky the linky. And you should send me a friend request, because I rock and would make [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/07/22/no-silver-linings-please/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Critical hit to keyboard</title>
		<link>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/07/20/critical-hit-to-keyboard</link>
		<comments>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/07/20/critical-hit-to-keyboard#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Jul 2010 14:32:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Monica</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/?p=736</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It turns out my laptop&#8217;s keyboard likes honey vodka a lot less than I do, which is why I&#8217;m abusing office technology and posting this at work.
My laptop will be gone for about two weeks, which means no WoW, no Facebook and no midget porn. I&#8217;m taking votes as to what to do with my [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/07/20/critical-hit-to-keyboard/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>You need to see this 8-mile-wide vagina</title>
		<link>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/07/09/you-need-to-see-this-8-mile-wide-vagina</link>
		<comments>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/07/09/you-need-to-see-this-8-mile-wide-vagina#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 09 Jul 2010 19:18:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Monica</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Blogging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Random Impulses]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/?p=726</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Find it here. 
It&#8217;s my new favorite song, thanks to The Bloggess posting the link to it on her site. It&#8217;s embarrassing how much I heart her. I would tell her, but she might get wise to the surveillance equipment I have in her bathroom.
P.S.: Bloggess, if you&#8217;re reading this, your tile is getting a [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/07/09/you-need-to-see-this-8-mile-wide-vagina/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>You graduated. Now what?</title>
		<link>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/29/you-graduated-now-what</link>
		<comments>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/29/you-graduated-now-what#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Jun 2010 18:21:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Monica</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Random Impulses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Work]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/?p=702</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear Graduates,
You have reached the end of a journey, about to embark on a brand new one. Maybe you are graduating from college and are about to claw your way to the top of your daddy’s company. Maybe you were a philosophy major and are planning the only career for which you qualify: graduate school. [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>God hates it when I fly to Denver</title>
		<link>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/24/god-hates-it-when-i-fly-to-denver</link>
		<comments>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/24/god-hates-it-when-i-fly-to-denver#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 Jun 2010 19:14:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Monica</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kill me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Travel]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/?p=693</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A TSA employee is the proud owner of two Leathermans thanks to some seriously incompetent customer service on the part of Delta.
The day did not start well. The Fatass, who tends to pee and shit when she&#8217;s nervous, did both on Devon&#8217;s suitcase on the way to Dad&#8217;s house, where we were leaving them for [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/24/god-hates-it-when-i-fly-to-denver/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>I’m more awesome than Urban Dictionary</title>
		<link>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/21/i%e2%80%99m-more-awesome-than-urban-dictionary</link>
		<comments>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/21/i%e2%80%99m-more-awesome-than-urban-dictionary#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jun 2010 22:36:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Monica</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/?p=689</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I Googled “Dirty Hooker” just to see what came up (and did it at work, since I apparently hate gainful employment), and I was pleased to see that I was the second hit, right after Drinksmixer.com’s recipe for a Dirty Hooker. It looks really fruity and gross, but I’ll have to check it out when [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/21/i%e2%80%99m-more-awesome-than-urban-dictionary/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Assholes are so convenient</title>
		<link>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/17/assholes-are-so-convenient</link>
		<comments>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/17/assholes-are-so-convenient#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Jun 2010 21:40:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Monica</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Geekery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I am going to hell]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/?p=673</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I don’t mean the kind like the guy who called me a “fucking idiot” in a PuG because my Oculus-fu was weaksauce. I mean literal assholes, the kind that serve as ejection holes for feces (and entrance holes for people who dig that sort of thing).
Really, assholes are way more convenient than colostomy bags. You [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/17/assholes-are-so-convenient/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>It&#8217;ll be fine</title>
		<link>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/14/itll-be-fine</link>
		<comments>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/14/itll-be-fine#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Jun 2010 15:45:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Monica</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Domestic crap]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/?p=669</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We’re cleared to bring Dad home Wednesday. Full disclosure: I’m so nervous I wish I had a permanent catheter, ’cause I want to pee myself.
I keep telling myself it’ll be fine. I turned the living room into a functional hospital room when Mom came home, and Dad is in much better shape than she was [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/14/itll-be-fine/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>DIAF, Digby Jones</title>
		<link>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/11/diaf-digby-jones</link>
		<comments>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/11/diaf-digby-jones#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Jun 2010 15:41:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Monica</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[DIAF]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/?p=653</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

“Obama is saying to himself &#8216;How can I distance myself from this problem?&#8217; His answer is to throw BP to the wolves.” &#8212; Lord Digby Jones, U.K. businessman, on the President&#8217;s repeated references to &#8220;British Petroleum&#8221; being viewed as anti-British in the U.K. The company hasn&#8217;t traded under that name for 10 years (Source: TIME)
Screw [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.dirtyhooker.org/blog/2010/06/11/diaf-digby-jones/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
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