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Tag Archives: Domestic crap
I’ve gone ginger!
It’s super red when it’s straight, and I cut off 2 inches. I’m inclined to let it go curly, since this is what it wants to do anyway. My friend Dan tells me redheads are nothing but trouble, so you … Continue reading
I would have brought a keg, but that might have seemed rude
My friend Saul and I visited the cemetery last Monday to note Dad’s one-year deathaversary. When we visit mom, we hang out under a nearby tree for several hours and make a picnic of it. But Dad was really inconsiderate … Continue reading
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It’s probably a good thing Devon didn’t kill me
Don’t tell him I said that. I don’t want him getting a puffed up head, thinking he’s right ALL the time. I’m sure he’d never think to read my blog. My day in court ended well. In short, my brother … Continue reading
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These aren’t my pants
Well, they ARE my pants. Sort of. I own these pants now thanks to the Finders Keepers Losers Weepers Law. That law was passed right after the Patriot Act, which is why no one noticed. Really, people, you need to … Continue reading
Spankings for everyone!
I knew we slipped from the newlywed phase into domestic tranquility when rubbing Devon’s back made him think about household appliances. Devon: The Maytag Maxima is an awesome dryer. I can’t wait until we have a house so we can … Continue reading
Not everyone can handle how awesome I am
Devon and I were drifting off to the sounds of the forest at night thanks to the sound machine we bought way back when Fitz spent most of her waking hours licking herself. And by that I mean a peaceful … Continue reading
Hot chicks with problems. This is my sad face. :(
Devon and I were watching “Bridesmaids,” and it was so bad I had to walk away and listen from another room. As Devon noted, I have a problem with displaced embarrassment. I can’t groove on movies where I’m expected to … Continue reading
Men are from mars, women are from — ARRGH! BLOOD! SO MUCH BLOOD!
You’d think a DIY nerd like Devon would appreciate a woman’s love of a good projectile-hurling death machine. With a laser sight. But noooooo. Devon: What the fuck does a wrist mounted crossbow need with a LASER? Me: Why DOESN’T a wrist-mounted … Continue reading
“Honey, you are really random sometimes”
I heard these words coming from the bathroom and thought Devon had found my cell phone battery next to a tampon again, but no. He found this lonely little M&M next to the light switch. This is what happens when … Continue reading
My self-loathing is dead sexy
I wore these shoes. For realz. I put them on my feet and walked out of my apartment, to the subway and through Manhattan. I got about halfway to the subway before Devon was all, “You walk like a toddler … Continue reading
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